Hormones or just not enough sleep?

I am having another mentally rough day. Yesterday was so full that I think I am recovering. I am just so cranky.

Yesterday Ella had her evaluation with the school district to see if she qualifies for speech therapy through them. After they left, I was filled with mixed emotions. I was so proud of how well Ella accomplished so many of the tasks they put in front of her. It is becoming very obvious to us and all that are around her enough that she is very bright. I have never really been sure what she knows and doesn't know since she doesn't say much. They do a lot at school and we do a lot at home so I am glad to know it was getting through :). She didn't say a peep the whole time the ladies were there. Based on what I could tell them and their observations, they said that she does qualify and they want to get her started with therapy right away- as soon as the week after Thanksgiving. I am amazed at how fast everything has moved.

I don't know how I managed to get everything done that I did yesterday. I have a polymer clay guild meeting tonight,and I really wanted to participate. Plus I am the treasurer and have been having some hard times trying to get my reports done. So I had to get that done right, and I did except for a few things I had forgotten to do since last month. We are having a gift swap and a potluck. I signed up for a main course. What was I thinking??? So after great debate, I decided on italian beef. I had no beef of course so once Dave was home I rushed out to buy the ingredients. We got Ella to bed.Then I had to make my gift which ended up going in the oven at 11:00 PM. Yeah really late for me. I fell asleep waiting for it. Thankfully it was ok. I woke up this morning and finished the gift and threw the italian beef in the crockpot. Plus I had to get myself ready, pack my lunch, dress Ella, and take her to Dave's mom's. On the way there, I hit a wall. I was tired and cranky. Ella dropped one of her toys and started fussing. I just couldn't get across to her that if Mama got her toy that we would crash into a telephone pole or tree. So now I am here at work and I just want to go home and sleep. *sigh* We are halfway through the day at least.

Baby update

First off - thanks to my friends for the wonderfully sweet comments. My family has also been so great during this process. Funny thing happened though. That night we took Ella grocery shopping and she was a little chatterbug. Not much we could decipher but she was so happy and cute that my blues just melted away which they often do when I get home. She was singing and laughing and being just generally silly. It turned out to be one of those perfect nights.

I had a OB appt today, and baby is doing great. It was a really easy appt with just listening to the heartbeat and answering some questions. Funny/gross thing happened before hand. It seemed like something out of a sitcom. I went to pee in a cup which you have to everytime. No big deal after so many times of doing it. When I peed in the cup, there wasn't much there and I know I really had to go so I couldn't figure out why. Oh well, no biggie. They had enough. Yeah no big until I went to move the cup and found there was a hole in the bottom!!! Ew ew ew. And then WTH??? So I managed to get the little bit left into a nice new cup with no mess on anything but myself and then washed my hands so I could have nice clean ones when I wrote my name on the cup with a sharpie. When I went to go put the marker down somehow the lid fell into my cup!! Ironic after being so careful to wash before touching the pen. I kept very composed through this whole comedy. I thought about mentioning it but I think it was too embarassing and we will wait to see if they find something weird like ink? I did clean off the cap with soap and water. Hopefully next time the peeing in a cup process will go smoother. Maybe I will double up just in case.

A series of ups and downs

We had a good weekend. It was pretty laid back for the most part. Ella started her second set of swimming lessons. They went as good as they could go with a bunch of toddlers. It was a lot louder in the pool this time around. A lot of screaming tantrums including some doozies from Ella. She was mad because she wanted to play with the kick boards and the dumb bells they had as tools. I have learned that Ella understands so much more than you would think considering she doesn't talk still. I resorted to threatening to leave every time she started to cry about not using them. I told her it was like listening to her teachers at daycare. Things went a lot smoother once she got the message. She didn't blow bubbles or scoop but there's hope. We know she can blow bubbles but she just started practicing in the tub about a week ago so its still new. Unfortunately we are going to miss at least 2 of the 7 weeks so I am hoping we can squeeze one more session in before our membership expires. They are so expensive though.

I am feeling a little down today. Ella was progressing so well for the last couple of months, but it has all come to a halt of a sudden. It seems to us that she will stop talking as much when she is trying to learn new skills and lately she has been doing some new things like trying to actually color one specific thing on a page. She gets very focused on an activity which is something Dave does too. Very serious. So we aren't getting a lot of words anymore where it seemed she was throwing them out like crazy before. Today a very nice lady from the school district called to set up Ella's evaluation for speech therapy through them, and she asked a ton of questions. Since this whole process has started I have been learning to pay very close attention to what Ella can do and how she goes about things. So now when they ask questions I have an idea of what they are looking for. We have two meetings now, but next Wednesday is the big day when they will evaluate Ella. One new thing I found out is that if Ella does qualify for the school's services then our time with our contact through Early On will end. Everything will be through the school, but we have only heard excellent things about Rochester Schools and even the lady from Early On says it will be best for her. There is a chance they will decide she isn't behind enough, but we really don't think that will happen. If it does, she will continue with Early On.

I am happy things are moving so quickly to help Ella. It just gets hard to go over all the questions again and again and be reminded that your child is so far behind. I have stopped blaming myself , but they are times I wonder if I am doing enough with her at home. I just want to hear what she actually sounds like. I focus on the fact that Ella is so loving and generous and in every other aspect very healthy. Tomorrow I will feel better I am sure. I have to. We have appts up the wazoo this week.

Can you really have a blog and not say anything?

Maybe it’s the hormones, but I keep getting teary eyed watching all the coverage of this historical election. Tuesday night, I couldn’t stand the suspense and went to bed at 9. I told Dave – “Wake me up if he wins, but if he loses I can wait to deal in the morning.” Thinking it was going to be close, I had already come to terms with the fact that no matter what, things had to change. Whoever we chose would hopefully make strong decisions that would help our country heal.

So Dave woke me up at 11 pm to tell me that our new President Elect was Barack Obama. I was so excited, and it showed I am sure on my sleep face. Actually what Dave probably saw was relief. I just believed Obama had more conviction and the strength to handle the tough times ahead. I like his views on where we need to go as a country and although I don’t believe anyone out there knows what the right answers are at this moment, I am sure he will do his best to make sure we find them and start healing.

I am like so many others so proud to be an American right now. We all as a nation need to work together now to find the answers and make sure no decisions are made hastily. As a semi new parent, I know my concerns like so many others revolve around the question : “What are we going to leave for our children?”

November - already?

Ugh I really meant to post about Halloween on Saturday but for some reason I was super motivated and cleaned the house. Seriously cleaned it and did a lot of laundry. Then today for some reason I am so tired (which I just typed as Ip gi yired). I am thinking baby is going through a growth spurt. Funny- it seems to be coinciding with Ella's. Girlie has been eating so good and her belly is sticking so far out.

Ella was a ladybug this year. She was super cute. We warmed her up all week with a few different little Halloween things. There was a thing at Borders and then at her daycare. Then we went to my office on Friday. So she was ready to roll on Friday. We went over to her friend, Rachel's house. We all had fun. I think the girls enjoyed having each other's company. Ella really gets trick or treating. She can't say it but a couple of times I heard her try. She also said "Hi" to some people instead. The proudest moment for me is when she signed thank you to at least 6 or 7 people. Yay! Something is finally getting through :). Actually she is signing a lot and saying more words too. I will post seperately on that. Tomorrow hopefully. Here are some pics from pumpkin carving and then our adorable ladybug. She always looks so serious when she is focused. Trust me, she was having fun. She also started stirring the pumpkin guts when daddy was finishing it up:

Kalahari - for little and big kids

Some time during the summer my mom mentioned that we would all should get away one weekend before winter sets in. We were all game. So she booked us a suite here:

http://kalahariresort.com/oh/

It was our family of three, my mom and dad, my brother's family of three, my sister's family of 4, and a friend of my niece's. I have to say that I think we were all a little hesitant to how it would go. We had two little ones who are always unpredictable and noone knew much about the place. It finally dawned on me last week that I wouldn't be able to do as much since I was expecting so I was a little worried I would be bored.

No reason at all to be concerned! We all had such a great time. This place was huge with so much to do. Ella never stopped smiling. She loves the water and became a pro on the water slides. They had the cutest little kid section, and her and I were able to do the Lazy River together. I felt bad though cuz she got nailed a couple of times by waterfalls. She did great though and most of them made her laugh. There were a couple of times I caught the "what are you doing to me, Mom?" after she got a face full of water. I pretty much was with Ella the whole time so Dad could go catch some grownup slides. The big "kids" all seemed to really enjoy those. They also had a pretty good arcade and a huge playspace for kids. It was a huge structure that you could climb around end with lots of obstacles and then in the middle they had a ball area where people could shoot balls at each other or just play. They had this chute type thing that would shoot a bunch of balls at one time in the air. Ella loved that! She kept piling them in there and then hitting the button. She'd laugh so hard everytime they went up and came down. Here is a picture of the ball area.

So because it was wet and crowded, we didn't get any pictures. I could have gone back to get the camera but we were all having so much fun and it was hard to track everyone down that I didn't bother. I did get one I will have to add later of Ella and her cheesy picture smile. She has started making this really strange face whenever a camera is pointed at her. It's hilarious. If you ever get a chance to check this place out, it is so much fun!

Dirty Little Secrets

My dear friend, Barb, tagged me for a little game :). She said her sister found a book called Dirty Little Secrets from Otherwise Perfect Moms by Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile. This one is kind of hard for me because I really share too much about myself to friends and family so I am not sure anything is really secret, but I am going to try.

1) I am probably one of the laziest people you will ever meet. Seriously. The only thing that has ever kept me from being called this at work is my desire to stay out of trouble and an inherited work ethic. Sad, but true. Ask my husband how much I actually move. My poor mother thought I was seriously ill as a child because I would always say something hurt to get out of housework. I am trying really REALLY hard not to use my pregnancy as an excuse to lay around so much.

2) Probably directly related to the laziness- I am a HUGE slob. I really don't see when things are dirty. I would much rather play and create than clean the house. My poor husband was the exact opposite of me when we moved in together. Now he kinda of bends. He lets me do as I please until it starts affecting our daily routine. Like not having any clothes at all to wear to work. Then he does usually do a lot of it himself. To be fair- when I finally really see how bad it is, I obsessively clean. That happens more now with Ella.

3)I listen to the kids XM station after I have dropped Ella off at daycare. And I have been know to listen to her CDs too when she has not even been in the car. There is just something so sweet and innocent about children's music. And Raffi is catching.

4)My daughter eats PBJs for dinner a lot. I don't enjoy cooking. I enjoy eating what I cook but not actually making it. When I want to, I can do a decent job of it too. So sad.

5)I can't get rid of anything. Especially books. Not sure why. Even if I never plan on reading it again. I just can't let it go. I feel some sort of weird attachment to them.

Ok so that's the best I can do right now. :) That was kind of fun. It's good to be honest with yourself. I hope I can provide some hope to other lazy slobs out there that it really doesn't matter if you can't cook and clean. You can still find a great man.