Hormones or just not enough sleep?

I am having another mentally rough day. Yesterday was so full that I think I am recovering. I am just so cranky.

Yesterday Ella had her evaluation with the school district to see if she qualifies for speech therapy through them. After they left, I was filled with mixed emotions. I was so proud of how well Ella accomplished so many of the tasks they put in front of her. It is becoming very obvious to us and all that are around her enough that she is very bright. I have never really been sure what she knows and doesn't know since she doesn't say much. They do a lot at school and we do a lot at home so I am glad to know it was getting through :). She didn't say a peep the whole time the ladies were there. Based on what I could tell them and their observations, they said that she does qualify and they want to get her started with therapy right away- as soon as the week after Thanksgiving. I am amazed at how fast everything has moved.

I don't know how I managed to get everything done that I did yesterday. I have a polymer clay guild meeting tonight,and I really wanted to participate. Plus I am the treasurer and have been having some hard times trying to get my reports done. So I had to get that done right, and I did except for a few things I had forgotten to do since last month. We are having a gift swap and a potluck. I signed up for a main course. What was I thinking??? So after great debate, I decided on italian beef. I had no beef of course so once Dave was home I rushed out to buy the ingredients. We got Ella to bed.Then I had to make my gift which ended up going in the oven at 11:00 PM. Yeah really late for me. I fell asleep waiting for it. Thankfully it was ok. I woke up this morning and finished the gift and threw the italian beef in the crockpot. Plus I had to get myself ready, pack my lunch, dress Ella, and take her to Dave's mom's. On the way there, I hit a wall. I was tired and cranky. Ella dropped one of her toys and started fussing. I just couldn't get across to her that if Mama got her toy that we would crash into a telephone pole or tree. So now I am here at work and I just want to go home and sleep. *sigh* We are halfway through the day at least.

Baby update

First off - thanks to my friends for the wonderfully sweet comments. My family has also been so great during this process. Funny thing happened though. That night we took Ella grocery shopping and she was a little chatterbug. Not much we could decipher but she was so happy and cute that my blues just melted away which they often do when I get home. She was singing and laughing and being just generally silly. It turned out to be one of those perfect nights.

I had a OB appt today, and baby is doing great. It was a really easy appt with just listening to the heartbeat and answering some questions. Funny/gross thing happened before hand. It seemed like something out of a sitcom. I went to pee in a cup which you have to everytime. No big deal after so many times of doing it. When I peed in the cup, there wasn't much there and I know I really had to go so I couldn't figure out why. Oh well, no biggie. They had enough. Yeah no big until I went to move the cup and found there was a hole in the bottom!!! Ew ew ew. And then WTH??? So I managed to get the little bit left into a nice new cup with no mess on anything but myself and then washed my hands so I could have nice clean ones when I wrote my name on the cup with a sharpie. When I went to go put the marker down somehow the lid fell into my cup!! Ironic after being so careful to wash before touching the pen. I kept very composed through this whole comedy. I thought about mentioning it but I think it was too embarassing and we will wait to see if they find something weird like ink? I did clean off the cap with soap and water. Hopefully next time the peeing in a cup process will go smoother. Maybe I will double up just in case.

A series of ups and downs

We had a good weekend. It was pretty laid back for the most part. Ella started her second set of swimming lessons. They went as good as they could go with a bunch of toddlers. It was a lot louder in the pool this time around. A lot of screaming tantrums including some doozies from Ella. She was mad because she wanted to play with the kick boards and the dumb bells they had as tools. I have learned that Ella understands so much more than you would think considering she doesn't talk still. I resorted to threatening to leave every time she started to cry about not using them. I told her it was like listening to her teachers at daycare. Things went a lot smoother once she got the message. She didn't blow bubbles or scoop but there's hope. We know she can blow bubbles but she just started practicing in the tub about a week ago so its still new. Unfortunately we are going to miss at least 2 of the 7 weeks so I am hoping we can squeeze one more session in before our membership expires. They are so expensive though.

I am feeling a little down today. Ella was progressing so well for the last couple of months, but it has all come to a halt of a sudden. It seems to us that she will stop talking as much when she is trying to learn new skills and lately she has been doing some new things like trying to actually color one specific thing on a page. She gets very focused on an activity which is something Dave does too. Very serious. So we aren't getting a lot of words anymore where it seemed she was throwing them out like crazy before. Today a very nice lady from the school district called to set up Ella's evaluation for speech therapy through them, and she asked a ton of questions. Since this whole process has started I have been learning to pay very close attention to what Ella can do and how she goes about things. So now when they ask questions I have an idea of what they are looking for. We have two meetings now, but next Wednesday is the big day when they will evaluate Ella. One new thing I found out is that if Ella does qualify for the school's services then our time with our contact through Early On will end. Everything will be through the school, but we have only heard excellent things about Rochester Schools and even the lady from Early On says it will be best for her. There is a chance they will decide she isn't behind enough, but we really don't think that will happen. If it does, she will continue with Early On.

I am happy things are moving so quickly to help Ella. It just gets hard to go over all the questions again and again and be reminded that your child is so far behind. I have stopped blaming myself , but they are times I wonder if I am doing enough with her at home. I just want to hear what she actually sounds like. I focus on the fact that Ella is so loving and generous and in every other aspect very healthy. Tomorrow I will feel better I am sure. I have to. We have appts up the wazoo this week.

Can you really have a blog and not say anything?

Maybe it’s the hormones, but I keep getting teary eyed watching all the coverage of this historical election. Tuesday night, I couldn’t stand the suspense and went to bed at 9. I told Dave – “Wake me up if he wins, but if he loses I can wait to deal in the morning.” Thinking it was going to be close, I had already come to terms with the fact that no matter what, things had to change. Whoever we chose would hopefully make strong decisions that would help our country heal.

So Dave woke me up at 11 pm to tell me that our new President Elect was Barack Obama. I was so excited, and it showed I am sure on my sleep face. Actually what Dave probably saw was relief. I just believed Obama had more conviction and the strength to handle the tough times ahead. I like his views on where we need to go as a country and although I don’t believe anyone out there knows what the right answers are at this moment, I am sure he will do his best to make sure we find them and start healing.

I am like so many others so proud to be an American right now. We all as a nation need to work together now to find the answers and make sure no decisions are made hastily. As a semi new parent, I know my concerns like so many others revolve around the question : “What are we going to leave for our children?”

November - already?

Ugh I really meant to post about Halloween on Saturday but for some reason I was super motivated and cleaned the house. Seriously cleaned it and did a lot of laundry. Then today for some reason I am so tired (which I just typed as Ip gi yired). I am thinking baby is going through a growth spurt. Funny- it seems to be coinciding with Ella's. Girlie has been eating so good and her belly is sticking so far out.

Ella was a ladybug this year. She was super cute. We warmed her up all week with a few different little Halloween things. There was a thing at Borders and then at her daycare. Then we went to my office on Friday. So she was ready to roll on Friday. We went over to her friend, Rachel's house. We all had fun. I think the girls enjoyed having each other's company. Ella really gets trick or treating. She can't say it but a couple of times I heard her try. She also said "Hi" to some people instead. The proudest moment for me is when she signed thank you to at least 6 or 7 people. Yay! Something is finally getting through :). Actually she is signing a lot and saying more words too. I will post seperately on that. Tomorrow hopefully. Here are some pics from pumpkin carving and then our adorable ladybug. She always looks so serious when she is focused. Trust me, she was having fun. She also started stirring the pumpkin guts when daddy was finishing it up: